Free lunches available ... freely

Why should anybody ...

believe those idiots who tell you there's no such thing as a free lunch?

There are free lunches everywhere:

• Christian groups regularly set up soup kitchens
• millionaires go around shopping malls, especially around X'mas, giving out USD 100 bills
• your mother gives you free lunches
• your husband gives you free meals (and you don't even bother to repay him with great sex, shame on you !!)
• your jailor gives you free meals
• your friends sometimes buy you lunches
• your boss sometimes treats you lunch
• if you collect enuf coupons, you'll get free stuff, including lunch
• if you beg in a high class neighbourhood, you actually collect more in alms than a guy gets working as a manager of a small company .. or a McD ..
• some politicians give you free lunch just before an election

'nuff said.

Don't Ferris

Why should anybody ...

want to ride on a Ferris wheel?

What if it got stuck, like on the Singapore Flyer on 23 Dec 2008, the world's largest Ferris Wheel, 30 meters higher than the London Eye?

What if you "had to go" while you're stuck?

What if you suddenly decided that you were afraid of heights?

What if a sudden tropical storm blew on you when you were stuck up there?

Think before you Ferris !! heh heh ...

You MUST assume

Why should anybody ...

tell you not to assume?

And make further stupid jokes like ASSUME = making an ASS out of U and ME

Morons !!

Making assumptions is what life is ALL about.  We need to make assumptions EVERYDAY, otherwise we simply cannot live a sane life !!

Every day, we MUST ASSUME that :

• we gonna be alive at the end of the day
• we are not going to be hit on the head by a falling aeroplane
• the earth is going to continue spinning merrily around the sun, and not be suddenly sucked into the sun
• the food we are going to eat is not poisoned
• our gf / bf / spouse are going to continue to be our gf / bf / spouse
• the lights are going to come on when we flip the light switch
• the train is gonna come on time (umm ... about this one ... some spiritual help required ...)
• some idiot terrorist is not going to detonate an explosive device one foot away from us
• the asshole who told us not to assume is also making all the above assumptions
• etc

Assuming is the most important thing we do everyday, otherwise we will go insane with all the alternative scenarios !!!!!!!

ASSUME = you are gonna be an ASS if U and ME do not assume

Don't buy stocks and shares

Why should anybody ...

want to buy stocks and shares?

What do you think you'll earn from "investments" in stocks and shares?  Dividends?  Capital appreciation?

Companies only pay dividends after: 

- the CEO has grabbed his huge unjustified bonus 

- other senior executives have also grabbed their share of bonuses and salaries as well

- all their huge unjustified expenses like corporate jets, huge stretch limos, and other questionable and unjustifiable expenses 

have been deducted from any profits the company is able to make.  

They will be taking all that money even if the company is making a loss.  In other words, YOU are sponsoring their lavish lifestyles. 

DON'T YOU FEEL STUPID?

SUCKER !

Capital appreciation?  

- They always try to con you to think stocks and shares go up in the long term.

- They NEVER tell you stock and share prices are CYCLICAL, always plunging every 10 - 12 years.  Well, surely they can't con you now, you can clearly see it for yourselves.  

Err, can you?

They always tell you never to try to time the market.

WHAT NONSENSE!!

If you still want to buy stocks and shares, TIME THE MARKET WELL.  The best time to buy is AFTER the cyclical 10 - 12 year plunge.  Like now ...

GEDDIT ???

Open 24 hours

Why should anybody ...

open his shop for less than 24 hours a day?

Be it a rented or self-owned shoplot, it is rented or owned for 24 hours, isn't it? Why then should anybody open only 8 hours, or 10 hours or 12 hours? Then 16 hours, or 14 hours or 12 hours of rental / ownership would be lost everyday, if you do that!!

So long as there will be customers patronising your shop, keep it open. Hire some extra staff or take on some partners, but make full use of your property.  If your local government has a law against you opening shop for 24 hours a day, vote them out of office asap !!

A simple example of this happening is with taxis. 2 or 3 people can co-own a taxi, and keep it running 24 hours a day, otherwise it will be a loss of use of many hours of the taxi. And time, as we know, waits for no man.

Kids?

Why should anybody ...

want to have kids?

Kids take the fun out of your sex life.

Kids take the fun out of your life.

Kids are a big responsibility.

Kids cost more than you can afford.

Kids can get into accidents.

Kids are a big legal liability, if you don't keep an eye on them 24 x 7.

Kids can die before you do.

Kids can break your heart.

Kids can be totally rebellious.

Kids can get shot in school shootings.

Kids can grow up into drug dealers and vicious criminals.

Kids can forget you ever existed, when you are old and looking forward to them seeing you once a year in your old folks home.

If you really "love kids", go work in a day care centre or kindergarten.  There'll be more kids than you can handle there.  and they will forever stay "kids".

If you really must have your own kids, and say you are happy to suffer for it, what can I say, just do it ...  But remember, it does not necessarily mean the kids will love you back ...  heh heh ...

And ... if you belong to the sorry group of people who say "my kids are my life", what can I say ... your IQ must be below zero ... GO GET A LIFE ... and stop putting such great responsibility on your kids to keep you entertained.  Poor kids ......

Marriage?

Why should anybody ...

want to get married?  It's full of pitfalls for both sexes.  And bloody expensive to get out of.

If you want sex, there's plenty of that outside of marriage.

If you want kids, you still don't need to get married.

If you want to keep your own money to yourself, you definitely don't want to get married.

If it's because of religion, well, why let some guys run your life just because THEY say "God said that".  Did God really say that?

If it's for tax reasons, it's cheaper to start a corporation and put all your assets there.

If it's because you're in love, what's marriage got to do with it?

There's NO reason to get married.  Illegalise marriage.  It only profits lawyers, restaurants and religious authorities.

Legalise marijuana instead.  Hee hee ...

Newspapers

Why should anybody ...

want to read so many sets of newspapers a day?

At most, you may want to read one set from "mainstream" media, and one set from "alternative" media.  

Most important thing to remember is that the saying  "information is power" is incorrect!!  Information is just memory overload.  ACTION is power!!

Why work?

Why should anybody ...

want to work if they already got enuf money?

Isn't earning money the main point of working?  Other "reasons" to work like sense of achivement, sense of power, etc can be gotten without working, you know.  Learn to be creative, then you can achieve anything and everything.  Working is for paupers (like me) and donkeys (like me).

Don't climb that mountain

Why should anybody ...

risk their lives to climb a mountain "just because it's there"?

Don't they have anything more productive to do, something that will benefit mankind, instead of hoping to die on K1 and littering the environment with their carcasses?